Life is a Happy Journey.

It has been some time since I posted here!

For those who had been following me on social media may know that I like to share things, especially benda yang Mira pernah belajar & also share stuffs related to positivity. Semalam Mira ada share pasal 'Being Happy 101' on my IGstory, and here, mira akan share lagi banyak! Because there are SOOOOOO MANY WAYS TO BE HAPPY! & kalau boleh Mira nak sangat semua orang happy (eventhough it can be impossible), so that semua orang tak perlu compare diri dia dgn orang lain, perasaan tak elok pun takde bila camni. Hidup ni tak lama, of course we want the best out of life. Tuhan bagi kita peluang untuk hidup ni sekali je, so always use each day wisely. 

Ni yang Mira share kat story semalam:

1. Accepting our past/mistakes. Kena selalu ingat ni. Semua orang pernah buat salah, and in fact, will continue to make mistakes. Sebab kita manusia, mana pernah sempurna. Yang penting, kita sedar apa yg kita buat tu salah. Bila ada kesedaran, kita boleh kurangkan atau slowly stop buat benda yang sama. Jangan jadikan silap lama ni satu point untuk kita rasa kita tak deserve to be happy. Mungkin ada yg rasa susah nak move from the past mistakes sebab orang sekeliling asyik ungkit cerita lama. I used to have that kind of people in my circle too, and I understand how hurtful it is. But always believe in yourself - know that you are no longer the person you were in the past & you've learnt from mistake. If you have this belief, you won't be affected as much bila orang ungkit benda yg tak elok pasal kita. & when we are able to accept that we have made & will make mistakes, we will be able to experience happiness much easier. Our past won't block us from experiencing the feelings of happiness. 

2. Kurangkan bercakap (yang buruk) pasal orang lain. Bila bercakap pasal orang lain, kita lagi senang untuk terlepas pandang dekat life kita sendiri, as if we are better than the person we're talking about - which is toxic to us balik. We're shifting our focus onto others' life yang takde kena mengena pun dengan hidup kita, so how are we going to be happy if we're focusing on others' more than our own? Biasa la kadang kadang bila kita lepak dengan member, akan terlepas cakap pasal orang lain (gossipping). Eleee tipu la kalau tak pernah langsung. Mira sendiri pun kalau lepak, mesti ada jugak bersembang pasal orang, but know the limit. Jangan la sepanjang lepak tu asyik gosip je. Kurangkan bercakap pasal orang lain, and don't be the person yang start bercakap pasal orang lain (benda buruk, kalau baik takpe). Kalau member start dulu, layan jela tapi jangan la nak membatu apikan. Again, such behavior may redirect us from living our life, to living to see others' life (maksudnya kita tak focus kat diri sendiri, tapi focus kat life orang lain).

3. Hilangkan perasaan 'tak suka' dekat orang lain. It's totally normal untuk ada perasaan tak suka dekat orang lain (jangan la sampai membenci tau). Kadang kita ada feeling tak best dekat someone tu even kita tak kenal dia bebetul (mungkin dari cerita orang lain, or the way we look at them), we can never lie to our feelings. The more we suppress, the more it will grow. Macamana nak hilangkan perasaan tak suka ni slow slow: elakkan dari bercakap pasal dia, or tengok dia. Lagi lagi sengaja bukak profile dia sebab kita nak judge dia. Lagi tak suka, lagi kita suka untuk cari point yg tak elok pasal dia. Yang ni kita kena buang. Kalau kita avoid cakap & tengok dia, lama lama kita pun makin kurang perasaan tak elok tu. & this will remove the toxic emotion we have that can block us from reaching happiness. Tanam perasaan yang senang bila tengok orang lain happy. Kalau tak boleh, jangan cakap benda yang tak elok.



ADDITIONAL ONES!

4. Rephrase our daily words. Kurangkan guna ayat negatif, tukar kepada positif. Contoh ayat negatif: I am always unlucky. Positif: Maybe luck comes in a different day. The positive sentence brings us hope, unlike the negative ones. It sounds so simple but brings a lot of good changes. Dalam psychology, language is very important, and it can affect our life. Cuba construct ayat ayat yg kita guna dengan cara yg positif. It takes practice! Tak perlu pun all the time kita kena practice benda ni, pening nanti. Slow slow je and start small! Maybe per day boleh fikir 1 ayat yang kita boleh ubah dari negatif ke positif. Lama lama in sya Allah akan terbiasa.

5. See the good things in others. Tak kisah la siapa pun orang tu. Mesti ada benda yang kita boleh belajar dari dia. Regardless of his/her personality -  buruk ke, teruk ke - kita still boleh cari benda yg baik dari dia. The problem with us, bila kita tak suka someone tu, or orang tu banyak yang benci, kita terus tak nampak yg baik dekat dia. Tak pun kita terus shut off from taking the good things that he/she shares. Apa yang baik, kita amik, yg tak baik kita buang jela. Or better, learn to not become like that.

6. Self-reflection before we end our day. Sometimes, we feel unease before nak tidur tu, kadang kadang taktau pun kenapa. Rasa macam tak sedap hati, nak tidur pun susah. This may reflect that there's something bothering us tapi kita tak fully acknowledge benda tu. This is why it's important to do self-reflection. Before tidur, 'throwback' balik the day, apa yg kita buat sepanjang hari tu. Ada tak benda yang kita tak patutnya buat tapi kita buat, or ada tak benda yang kita boleh improve. & check jugak our interaction with others, mungkin ada small miscommunication/tersakitkan hati orang yang kita tak perasan. Benda camni mungkin kita tak sedar, but it's stored in our subconscious mind - it can bother us without us knowing the reason. So, bila kita buat self-reflection, it helps us to detect kat mana silapnya. If not, maybe it can help us to improve ourself.

7. Learn to let go. Mungkin ada diantara kita yang ada simpan dendam or tak puas hati dekat orang - sama ada dia yang mula dulu, or kita. Either way, this unsettled feeling may probably hinder us from feeling free - therefore our happiness is affected. I understand the feeling of anger, vengeful especially when the person has hurt us in the past. These emotions are valid, lagi lagi bila benda tu baru je jadi. It's okay, but don't keep it for too long. Keeping these kind of feelings for too long akan buat kita tak senang hati. & we know we can never do anything pun. So, just let God handle the rest. No dendam, no sakit hati, mesti happy!

8. Comparing vs. improving. Sometimes kita unconsciously akan tercompare diri kita dengan orang lain, lagi lagi bila dekat social media. Everyone will want to show the good side of them. Manade orang nak post benda yang menampakkan dia bodoh/teruk/buruk (secara sengaja - yang sebarkan aib sendiri tu, emm no comment). & this may cause us to feel bad for ourself kalau orang tu ada lebih dari kita. & kalau sebaliknya (if the person tunjuk ugly side of them), maybe ada sense of superiority dalam diri kita. Meaning that akan terlahir perasaan yang kita lagi bagus dari dia. Both of these are toxic to us. Instead of comparing, we LEARN TO LEARN from others. Maksudnya, kita cuba belajar daripada orang tu (direct translation hahaha). So let's say orang tu ada lebih dari kita, instead of rasa down dengan diri sendiri, kita tukar perspective to be inspired by the person. Jadikan semangat untuk kita improve diri kita. Kalau orang tu tunjuk benda yang tak baik pulak, kita belajar untuk elakkan buat benda yang sama (sama mcm point #5). Learn to not compare yourself, but improve yourself.

9. Tell ourself that it's TOTALLY OKAY to be sad sometimes! We don't have to be happy all the time. We need to feel sad, to appreciate being happy! So, jangan la push ourself to be happy all the time - we are not robots. Each emotion serves a purpose, just like how sad is felt to make us understand that the situation is bad for us and we do not want to go through it again (if God wills).

10. LAST BUT NOT LEAST & THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE! Of course, jaga hubungan dengan Tuhan. Jahat macamana sekali pun kita, please jangan tinggal benda yang Dia suruh. At the end of the day, He is the one who grants us the happiness in this world (& of course the hereafter). Jaga hubungan dengan family, especially parents. Berkat tu datang dari parents. Make them happy, in sya Allah kita pun akan happy. Nothing defeats the happiness we gained from making our parents happy!
On a side note: I understand that there may be people yg hidup dengan toxic abusive family. If you are in this situation, please take the right action - fight for yourself through the right medium (e.g. report pihak berkuasa). Do not take actions into your own hand.

Wew! That's a loooong entry

Mira pun tak perfect dalam hidup ni, and semua points yang mira kasi kat atas ni, Mira still practice slow slow. & they help a lot! So, kita buat sama sama k! Semoga bermanfaat. Stay safe, XOXO.