A Short Love Story

I have always hated Romance genre, but today I feel like writing a story about something sweet, but hopefully not too cringy.

Here I go..

2014.

I never really understood how love works, and I broke many hearts before. My bad. I really didn't understand how couples can stick together for years. & I didn't even think I could. The thoughts carried on until I got into a new relationship. I still doubted it if I could make it. Plus, we only knew each other through the social media. Been friends for a while over the computer/phone, then we started seeing each other for real (initially as friends?) at Kinokuniya. I thought it was kinda cool, although it sounds so geek. Then, I started to develop feelings. But still, I had doubts on myself. Even more so because I was going to further my study in Australia in a couple of months, it's gonna be a really long distance. Like really really long, with different time zone. I didn't know what pushed me to carry on despite the doubts, we started seeing each other anyway (Adakah ini jodoh? wekkk 😜).

HAHAHAHA our first tweet to each other. Masa ni mira jual cupcakes, cakes & cookies.
I really thought he was a customer until....tengok ayat last dia 😂 we were so immature!

Before I furthered my study, we got to see each other like once a week (mostly dekat UM, because I sengaja pilih UM as my research setting, hehehe). It was cool, I like hanging around with him. Got to meet some of his friends too, which was nice. You know it's serious when you started to be 'introduced to' right. Few weeks before I flew to Australia, I managed to introduce him to my family...of course, as a friend, but they figured out anyway in the end. IT FELT SO GOOD. So the meetings (ahem.. dates) went on until I left Malaysia to study abroad. It was... not as hard as I expected! It was fun! I never thought it would. It's a totally different experience for me. From someone who easily gets bored with relationships, to someone who values one. Video calls, voice calls, Whatsapp, made it so much easier for us. There will always be something silly and fun for us to do virtually to keep the relationship going. I enjoyed it very much. 

2015.

It's been a year we started dating, in a really long distance. It amazed me, of how much we could tolerate with the time difference, the distance. Not being able to see each other face to face. These things had never made us felt bored of the relationship. I swear it was the opposite, it was so much fun. We got to deliver anniversary gifts via air postage, took selfies in front of the laptop, walked to campus together (on the phone), and so much more. We updated our daily activities with each other. It was as if we're doing the activities together. Uhhh I miss those days. I remember the first time we got into an argument after being in a long distance, we laughed over it on the same night when we both were cool again. It was so stupid, it made my night. I also remember one of the stressful days when I couldn't solve my Statistics exercise (I hated Stats), and complained about it to him over the phone, and he offered to help me. So he took out his calculator and started to calculate the equation, OH MY GOD, SWEETEST THING EVER.

Our kind of dates 😂

The first summer break, the break I'd been looking forward to. I was flying back to Malaysia. And of course, I got to meet him again, after separated by distance. Every time I came back for summer or winter breaks, we only get to see each other for about one time in a month, or maybe once every two months. Because it's still a long distance after all. Ipoh-Kl, or Ipoh-Kuantan. Sometimes, I'd travel to KL in the morning to see him, and went back home in the evening via train. SO WORTH IT. & every time we planned to see each other, I'd buy new pretty clothes to wear on our dates. My mom was quite supportive, she'd accompany me to buy my outfit 😂. That's how the dates were like back then. 

2016.

Even after 2 years of relationship (in a long distance), I still have doubts on myself. But, they started to fade little by little. Because, I've never felt so emotionally and mentally attached to someone even after being separated far away from each other. There must be something different about this relationship. I'm kind of a geek, I love reading articles, so there's this article mentioning about love hormones. It says if you're still in love with someone after 2 years, that means the love is real, as the hormones are less active to cause you 'hormonally in love' with someone. Something like that. I believe in it. It gives me hope, like kind of scientifically proven. Anyway, I didn't want to throw away my doubts just like that. I still kept a little bit of them, in case things change.

It's the 2nd year of our relationship, when things got tough. It was the night of my birthday. When he was admitted to the hospital, suspected for dengue. I freaked out when I got the call from him. I was holding his birthday card sent all the way from Malaysia, at the moment when he was calling. It was a mixed feeling, but he assured me that he's going to be fine. And it did relieve me. 

Was reading his handmade birthday card on the night I received the call.

The morning after, I was getting ready to celebrate my birthday with my friends. Didn't receive any update from him since last night but I was being so positive that everything's gonna be alright. Waited for the bus to meet my friends, and suddenly got an anonymous call. It was his brother, the initial thought was... he's about to wish me happy birthday, but it was a bigger surprise. When he said, 'nak bagitau something, please kuat..' my heart pounded like it was gonna burst... it was not dengue, it's... leukemia. I cried right away, in the crowded bus, I don't even care anymore if those mat saleh wanted to stare at me. To keep the story short, I went back home, crying, called my mom, his bestfriends, and everyone. My friends were there to comfort me too. So thankful - thank you girls 💝. After a couple of hours crying, I stopped and wiped my tears, and told myself that I needed to be strong for him. I was so positive, I was impressed at myself now (he was even more impressed hahaha). I needed to be strong too, as my final examination was starting the next following week & I needed to study. I can't be in sadness for long. So, every night after study, I would spare some time to make duas and prayers for him. And I'm so lucky to have a bestfriend who would stay up with me to pray together. IT HELPED SO MUCH! I managed to be calm, think positive, and I even aced my exam! Alhamdulillah. From there I value the need to be positive. Positive attracts positive.

End of my 2nd year, I graduated. Which means, I was going back to Malaysia for good. Which also means, I got to visit him in hospital for the first time. Hospital date was fun. I brought Chess for a healthy activity to keep his brain working. Being a Psych student, I knew his brain needed some mental work after resting at the hospital bed for so long (lol nerdie 👀).

you're so strong! 💪

Not long after, he was discharged, and it was one of the happiest news I'd ever received. Alhamdulillah. A few weeks later, I managed to secure a job in KL, and there goes our short distance episode. The first short distance relationship together. There's no more 'see you in ___ months'. We live literally 10 minutes away. 

It's been 4 years now. The doubts are almost gone. I think I know what love is. It's being there for someone, you can still feel it even when you're in a distance. Love is more than words. It's not just saying 'I love you'. It's the things you do for someone to make sure he is happy. I am happy. I always want to be happy, and to make the other person feel happy too. Love is also when you fight, but still find each other in the end. Nothing is keeping you separated. In sya Allah. 

P/S: This was written 2 years ago (2018). It's my 6th year in the relationship now, and so much (good) things have changed! The doubts are completely gone now. Alhamdulillah. In sya Allah more good things to come THIS YEAR *hint & wink 😉